Around this time of year, romance — at least the kind brought to us by makers of greeting cards, chocolate and jewelry — creeps into our wallets, if not our hearts. But romance has expanded its purview, lowered its standards, changed its style; we have choices.

"Personals" are the "new valentine." No longer are they just for those who are desperately lonely or just plain desperate, but for those who want to make a deal. Some women are uber-honest, and let you know they're seeking a problem solver, a helpmate and a free ride. And you'd better have nice wheels! They seldom spend any of their 25 words announcing what they plan to contribute to the relationship.

Men, in their ads, consistently seem to love "long walks in the moonlight, holding hands, flea markets and pets," and are seeking a "passionate female for companionship and maybe more." They are also prone to include "height-weight appropriate" as a requirement, and a few old ducks specified a woman in an age range 20 years younger than themselves. Though they are very romantic, they nearly always stick the word "passionate" in there to…well, to let the prospective takers know what will be expected in return.

A few years ago, when this new trend appeared in the personal ads, especially in the Penny Savers, I was so intrigued, I wanted to get in touch with some of them to see how it was working out, but while it's free to place an ad, it costs $5 to respond to them, so I'm still wondering.

Agreeable, sincere, WF wants "Mr. Nice Guy" who will be financially generous, honest companion, well-groomed, etc. NO married men for this lady! Thanks!

(She's still recovering from wounds inflicted by the wife of her last sweetie.)

WF 62, Faithful loving truthful, seeks single, thoughtful WM, reasonably generous. No dependents to account to financially/socially. Someone to assist w/money when needed.

(Define "reasonably" … no dependents, but can I have a dog?)

WF, 37, 5'4", needs an amorous sexy sugar daddy to enjoy me, make us happy. Help pay my bills, take me out occasionally. Thanks.

(That's it? Just pay your bills and an occasional trip to the movies? For that, I have to be sexy, too?)

WF, 50, seeks boyfriend 50/60s w/ expensive vehicle, well groomed, money, time to spend on me. Please be caring, charming, thoughtful, virile, not cheap.

(If I was all this, why would I be answering these ads?)

SWF, Desperate mom needs help raising 2 great kids. I'm searching for a male chauvinist man, who will let me stay home, cook, clean and cater to my man's every need in exchange for comfortable living arrangements. Please send photo of you and your car.

(Does she plan to live in my car?)

Early 60's WF seeks WM, generous to me, thoughtful, true of heart, 2 million plus, securities, summer/winter residences in warm climate. I'm worth it!

(Well, I'm true of heart – would you settle for a mobile home in Kerhonkson?)

Apparently, honesty is not always the best policy, as we don't see them much any more. Or maybe all the handsome, sexy, sugar daddies ran off with women like me, who run ads like this one.

WF, 40, self-supporting, lovely home, great cook, drives a Humvee; loves Victoria's Secret, Super Bowl parties, keeping busy, shoveling snow, action movies, fixing cars. Looks like Candice Bergen, never nags or asks intrusive questions; seeking male 60-80 who appreciates the good life.

(Well, it's not all true, but I'll get a lot of calls, and we can sort it out later.)

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